Friday, December 18, 2009

The Difficulty of Getting What You Wanted

I'm in a difficult place right now. I am so excited for this baby and all the possibilities that it can be, but I find myself hesitant to write because I know some of you are longing for what I am experiencing now. I know that all to well, I longed for 3 years for this blessing. It is still hard to believe. So shouting it from the hilltops in this venue has been a difficult thing for me because I know. I know some of you won't read this blog anymore because it hurts to see someone else getting pregnant instead of you...again. I know you struggle with trying to stay positive and not get bitter and wonder, "why not me?"

I want you to know I won't hold it against you if you stop reading or visiting. I understand--I have done it myself. Know that I will still be praying for you that you too can experience the joy of seeing those two lines. Oh how I long for that for all of my fellow infertles!

I know I will still be visiting you and encouraging you because I know you need it. We all do no matter what we are going through. I will always be a part of this community that has been such a huge part of my life. I don't know what I would have done had it not been for this family. You mean so much to me.
I must keep writing about where I am at at this very moment--trying to survive until second trimester. It hasn't been too fun yet! But the joy I have is amazing and I must let it out! I can't contain it, and I am sure it will spill out.

Stay strong and keep praying! God is in the business of miracles! I am living proof!


  1. You've waited a long time for this blessing, enjoy it. People can choose to continue to read/follow or not. But you give the rest of us hope. Enjoy your miracle!

    Happy Holidays.

  2. This was a nice entry. I'm very happy that you got your wish. It's sweet that your still thinking of us and wishing for the best.

  3. Hi there! Happy (early) ICLW! I'm newly pregnant as well (at 6w5d) and I was searching for bloggers that are newly pregnant as well and I happened upon yours.

    I too have struggled with the direction of my blog now that I'm pregnant. But I'm finding that my base core of loyal readers is still following along (for now) and I hope you will find the same too!

  4. Agreed - I'm 5w3d today and glad to find others who are in the same boat. Congratulations on your bean!


  5. This was a sweet post - thank you. I will continue to read and comment when possible, but thank you for your understanding!