I'm in a difficult place right now. I am so excited for this baby and all the possibilities that it can be, but I find myself hesitant to write because I know some of you are longing for what I am experiencing now. I know that all to well, I longed for 3 years for this blessing. It is still hard to believe. So shouting it from the hilltops in this venue has been a difficult thing for me because I know. I know some of you won't read this blog anymore because it hurts to see someone else getting pregnant instead of you...again. I know you struggle with trying to stay positive and not get bitter and wonder, "why not me?"
I want you to know I won't hold it against you if you stop reading or visiting. I understand--I have done it myself. Know that I will still be praying for you that you too can experience the joy of seeing those two lines. Oh how I long for that for all of my fellow infertles!
I know I will still be visiting you and encouraging you because I know you need it. We all do no matter what we are going through. I will always be a part of this community that has been such a huge part of my life. I don't know what I would have done had it not been for this family. You mean so much to me.
I must keep writing about where I am at at this very moment--trying to survive until second trimester. It hasn't been too fun yet! But the joy I have is amazing and I must let it out! I can't contain it, and I am sure it will spill out.
Stay strong and keep praying! God is in the business of miracles! I am living proof!
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