Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Nursery

I have less than 100 days to go!! I can't believe it! It has gone by fast. There have been some days that seem like forever, but overall I can't believe I only have 3 months to go.
This is making me nervous that we don't have the nursery ready, and I feel like we aren't close. There isn't much more I can do. JJ needs to get his desk emptied and switched to our other desk. He recently has been getting more work, which is good for the finances, but not good for the things that need to get done around the house! I really want the nursery done before the shower in a month.
I think I have finally decided for certain to stay with our safari theme for the nursery. I found some wall hangings that are baby safari animals which are so cute. So I set out to find bedding which would match. I found one, but wasn't certain until I spent hours looking for something else, but nothing else stood out for me.
What do you think?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

What IF?

Project IF

What if this pregnancy doesn’t take?
What if I am a bad parent after all we tried to become one? What if I am judged more by others because we wanted it so bad?
What if I have to do treatments again–what if I don’t want to?
What if I can’t conceive a sibling for my son, what if it’s harder the second time around? What if I don’t have the strength to do it again?
What if my son asks how he came about, can I tell him the truth, and what will it mean for him? What if he thinks he isn’t as special because he was conceived with a syringe?
What if everything works out OK?

Sunday, April 11, 2010


This baby has been moving like crazy. He kicked me so hard yesterday that it moved my body! Nobody told me that was going to happen. It was amazing and shocking! It brings tears to my eyes sometimes when I feel him in there. It's like he's communicating with me, telling me he's OK and doing good. It is so reassuring. This morning I was in a lot of hip pain and I felt him move and it just hit me: this is a small price to pay to bring a healthy strong boy into our family. Not to say that this pain is any easier. Today was the most painful it has ever been, it is really surprising. It is making me waddle, and it is embarrassing. I feel like I shouldn't be waddling yet, I'm not big enough. But the pain made me waddle! It's all so crazy!
Last night JJ and I went out on a date, and it was so nice to just sit together and focus on each other and have some fun. I realized that we may not have that opportunity as much when the baby comes. I hope that we can make it a priority to make each other the most important person to each other. We definitely want to make sure that happens.
We still can't make up our minds on a name. I am not sure if we will know until we meet him. The list is getting bigger, with no winners yet. People certainly have their own strong opinions about it. Even if we make a decision, I don't think we will share what his name is until he is born. That way it's his name, and no one can say anything about it. So there!