Philippians 4:7 (New International Version)
7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
On Sunday I was worshipping in church and I was thinking about this whole IF thing (as I usually do in church) and a peace that I can't explain came over me. These thoughts of "it's going to be OK" and "it will work out, no problem" kept rolling through my head. I had no more of the recurring thoughts I usually have like, "when is this going to happen" and "how much will I have to suffer until it happens-is it going to hurt any more than it does right now?" It was all just "it's going to happen, and you will survive, no problem, no worries." What a burden lifted-no worries. I have such a confidence now. A confidence in every aspect of it. I know this was from God, I have no doubts about it.
I am amazed at how easily it came, and even more amazed at how it has stuck with me. Now I know what JJ feels. I have always been confused at how peaceful he could be about this. How could he not feel as I feel? I tried to not let that get me upset at him, because it was his faith in God and what He was going to do, and how could I get mad at that?
I was shopping today, and I didn't have the usual thought I have like when I see a pregnant woman or walk by the baby clothes. All I could think was, "that's going to be me some day" "I will be shopping in this section soon." When usually I am turning my head and looking away, afraid of what it might trigger in me. I was shocked that's all I could think when I saw those images, "It will happen!"
At the end of the service, my pastor's wife came up to me with our guest speaker and asked if they could pray for me. She had a daughter in law that she prayed for for 10 years to have a baby, and she conceived and had 2 children. She laid her hands on my abdomen and prayed for children, not just one child, but children. She reminded me of the the verse in Psalm 113:9 "He settles the barren woman in her home as the happy mother of children." (emphasis mine) God said children, not child. What an encouragement! God I pray it sustains until your Word is fulfilled!