Saturday, May 2, 2009

Our Common Hope

This past week I was at work and the dreaded question was asked (as it frequently does), "Do you have children?" Which is of course is a no, then they usually say something like "why not, you should", etc. I have the privilege of interacting with a lot of people being a nurse and I am frequently asked the question and it is a heart-wrenching conversation that follows.
This day was a bit different. I was asked the question and I simply said no. Sometimes that stops further questioning, mostly not. People need details I guess. After the no response my patient's wife said, "Well don't wait to try, you should do it now." I was flabbergasted! What does she know? Well turns out she knows from experience. Her and her husband married later in life and she went through everything you can think of in the IF world. We shared stories and heartaches and the many "why?" questions we have for God when we get to heaven. Why do those teenagers who have no support system get pregnant and we don't? Why does the mother who is hooked on drugs gets pregnant? Why do people who don't want children have children, and those of us who desperately want them can't? I think those are some pretty good ones. 
We were able to share in our pain and joy. They were able to adopt a beautiful 4 year old girl whose parents basically didn't want her anymore. She has been a pure joy in their lives for the past 2 years now. How wonderful she can live in a home where her parents desperately wanted her. Her adoption answered some of their "why" questions. Why didn't her parents want her? Because God hand-picked her out for them. That's where their infertility road lead them-to her and the making of their family. 
They were so encouraging and loving to me. It is so nice to talk with people who totally get what you are going through. There is such support and love in that. Something she said really struck me. She said that you will have your story too. You will have your children someday too. No matter what, it will happen, and we will pray for you. 
Thank you Mr and Mrs L for that. It was a wonderful encouragement in a place where it is hard to be "infertile". You lifted my spirits and gave me great hope! And thank you for giving infertility a voice. I often think we are too silent on that, even with each other but we should continue the conversation in a positive and encouraging way. I am praying for you too-the Mr and Mrs L's on the planet and the brothers and sisters with empty broken hearts. You will have your story, I just know it. God is in the business of blessing people, and He is really good at it! We just have to trust it is in His way, which is the best way for us by far.

1 comment:

  1. Heather, you have me in tears this morning. What a beautiful conversation you had. I love you. I believe that you will have your story too! I was just thinking yesterday when I was sitting in my glider that "someday this will be Heather's glider". You'll need one, won't you?? :) I love you like crazy, sista.