The Hardest Day

Mother's Day. It has been a difficult day for me for years now. I am usually at church that day, and the whole stinkin' service revolves around mothers, children, etc. It is really hard to sit through. There are wishes of "Happy Mother's Day" everywhere, gifts given to all the women, and kids specials. The worst is getting the gift. I don't take it. It is a reminder of the day. And everyone is asking me why I didn't take it and I don't want to be a downer and tell them why. I am sure they might think I am a little over the edge.

Luckily, I have to work tomorrow, and for that I am grateful. It will keep my mind off it. If I didn't have to work, I am sure that I would be staying home. I don't think I can take it anymore. I can't take baby showers anymore either, which I really hate. I had a friend at work recently who had a shower, and I had to explain to her why I wasn't going to come. It hurt to miss it, I wanted to support her. But it hurts even more to see all that baby stuff. Just can't handle it. I have to work up a hard shell to go shopping for them too. I find doing it online to be a lot better. I can click on what I want and send it to them. That way I don't have to spend 20 minutes in the baby section trying to find what they have registered for-pure torture.

I can't wait to celebrate Mother's Day again, when I am a mother. Until then, it is going to be the hardest day of the year.