The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

It's been awhile since I have blogged. The holidays and having to jump back into work has slowed me down. Along with this baby. I feel like I am running at half-steam.
Had a really great time over the holidays. Even though I had to work on Christmas, it was only half a day, so I was able to enjoy it with some of my extended family. It is always great to see everyone. It was fun to share my pregnancy with everyone, and tell the news to some who hadn't heard. I love seeing their face light up. Everyone knows how hard we were trying. My grandma just keeps crying. I can't talk to her about it anymore because I will join in. I can't wait until next year when we will have a 4 month old to share in the festivities. The baby already got some presents this year! Yay!
I already have periods where I am just in awe that I really am going to have a baby. I just can't help but praise God when I think about how wonderful it all really is. How unworthy I feel to get His blessing. He didn't have to do it, but He did, and I am so excited about it.
Can I complain about being pregnant? I am not sure I have the "right" to, being that I REALLY wanted this for so long. I even had another pregnant coworker tell me that I shouldn't complain, that this is what I wanted. I was really shocked at that statement. Does that mean she is allowed to because she had no difficulty with conceiving either of her children? I still think I should be able to, pregnancy is hard I have come to find out, and sometimes you need to vent.
It is such a weird place to be in. I am grateful, but shocked and frustrated about how my body is not my own anymore, and it won't be for a long time. It took me 10 minutes to find something clean and big enough to wear to church yesterday. It just made my morning not go smoothly from there. I had to take some time to get some water to bring, because if I don't, I get dizzy. Then I had to bring some food because I knew that if I didn't eat soon, I wouldn't be able to until lunch and I know if I don't have food in my stomach, that I will want to and possibly will vomit. This things frustrate me among others, like my skin has now become super sensitive, and my bbs feel like they weigh 10 lbs each and don't fit into any bra well, no matter what the size. I am hoping as I move into my second trimester these things will get better. Then nausea already has overall, and that is exciting for me.
I can't wait until my next ultrasound at 21 weeks. We will get to see everything on the baby and the gender!