Recently I gave some books on infertility to a friend who is experiencing some difficulty getting pregnant. I was surprised to find it a little difficult to do that. When I handed them to her, I felt myself a little reluctant to give them. I think because I find comfort in knowledge and I relied on those books so much when I needed support and information. And I did it for so long, it became habit and now, I realize, a comfort to me. And I couldn't help but think, will I need these again? What if I need them soon? Am I jinxing myself and this pregnancy if I am giving these away?
But I have such a peace about this baby, it is almost freaky. I should be worried about things, but I'm not. I know it's God's peace, there is no other possible explanation. I can't be "jinxed", God is on my side. He wants this baby to live and thrive. And I just have to keep reminding myself that. And if I have to go through infertility again, it will be for a good reason, God is in control. And I read those books so much, I think I know them by heart anyway.
Good luck friend! Read and be comforted. I am praying for you.