Friday, May 7, 2010

The Doula Dilemma

I have been researching having a natural birth for years now. I just have been drawn to the fact that women for thousands of years have been giving birth, and their bodies are specifically designed for that purpose and who are we to interfere with that unless absolutely necessary? But now that I am faced with the prospect of having to actually deliver this human out of my body, the thought freaks me out a bit. I think its because the only exposure to it was in school and TV, and those weren't the type of experiences that I want to have. I recently have found testimonials of women who have had wonderful natural birth experiences, some of whom have had actual orgasms during birth. My question is-how is that possible? How can a woman go through what traditionally has been the most pain a woman ever goes through, but yet have these amazing feelings and feel totally fulfilled? That's what I want-a birth experience that is calm, fulfilling and joyous. I don't ever want to say, "I don't ever want to go through that again."

I am not pretending like it won't hurt. I am pretty sure it will. But what can I do to help my body do what it is supposed to do and increase those natural pain killers my body can make? I don't know. I want to know. There are so many options out there, but I don't know which will be right for me. Lamaze, Bradley method, hypnobirth? This causes some anxiety to say the least. Will I pick the right one, and will it work?
I have decided that I want to hire a doula, a birthing coach. She is right next to you during your labor and delivery and she helps you reach your goal of unmedicated birth with tips, labor coping methods, and coaching both the mother and father. I know full well that my doctor and my nurse will not be there the whole time, and I want that support with me because I want an unmedicated birth and frankly these days, that is not supported so much. With a doula though, it is supported and they will be my advocate in the labor room to which I am stuck giving birth in (insurance won't cover any other kind or any other hospital.)

I have been interviewing doulas in my area and decided it is definitely the route I want to take. I just have to come up with the money for it somehow. The most expensive one is $800 just for the doula services, not to mention the childbirth class that is $350. Ouch. But I think it will be worth it to have the birth experience I am after. I just have to find the right one that will fit our budget and personalities. I am definitely praying about this, praying for wisdom and that God shows me the right woman for the job. I am also praying that the baby comes when they are available (all of them interviewed are going on vacation within 2 weeks of my due date!!! That's a little unnerving!) Maybe you can pray too?


  1. A doula is a great decision. Yeah, they're pricey but they're there for you and therefore worth every penny. I have two good friends who are doulas and I am so impressed with the service that they provide!


  2. Good luck choosing a doula! I had never heard about them until one of my friends was pregnant.

    Hope your birth goes just the way you want, but don't be too hard on yourself if something changes while you are going through it. I didn't have a birth plan, but I have read about some people who did that were really hard on themselves if it didn't go as planned. Good luck!!

  3. I had a birth like that. It was amazing. It was absolutely manageable and I was high as a kite for 2 weeks after.

    For what you can do now to prepare, I would say yoga. It did 2 things for me. It prepared my body, but mostly the breathing that I learned was what really got me through the birth.

    I'll pray you're able to find the right doula for you. I had one and I would recommend it if you want an unmedicated birth, but definitely hire them based on personality. I didn't, I just went with the only one in town that does hypnobirthing and our personalities really didn't mesh.

    I'm currently working on typing up my birth story on my blog if you want to read it. I've taken a break from it, but this is just the motivation I need to get back to it.

    Best of luck!

  4. I have just begun thinking that if I ever got pregnant I would like the voice of a doula to explain to docs/nurses what MY plan was. I think of them more as an advocate then anything else. I hope you find a good one!! Congrats!!
    ICLW #62

  5. Awesome that you've made the decision to hire a doula!!

    personally I like the Bradley Method of childbirth - it made a HUGE difference in my 2nd birth!!

    here from ICLW!