I am I am!!!

I can't believe it but I am pregnant! Finally! We have waited for this for 3 years and it is finally happening! Beta today was 251!!! (Of course I cheated and took a HPT on Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday, all of which showed 2 lines! I have never seen that before--2 lines! When I saw that I was shaking, crying and dancing around then I would come back and look at it in disbelief.

We announced it to our family at Thanksgiving dinner and everyone was shocked and excited. It has been wonderful telling people what they have been praying for for years has finally come. Prayer works!!! Praise God. I am praying for all of you in the TTC world that it happens for you too!! Keep believing!

Am I?

This 2 week wait is a little crazy, or maybe it's making me crazy. I am trying not to get my hopes up, but some things have emerged, but it may be explained so I'm not sure. Am I pregnant or getting ready to get my period? My hunch is yes I am preggo, but I have never been before, so I don't know for sure.

*WARNING TMI!*

So Thursday was one week post IUI right around when the embryo would be attaching to the uterine wall. Around Friday my breasts began to get tender. So I thought well, it could be anything--don't read into it! Then I started getting more tired than usual and that hasn't stopped. Those could be I am getting my period.

But this morning I know for sure that I got a yeast infection. I was wondering for about 2 days, but now I know for sure. That is a little unusual. And it may be a sign of pregnancy. Or it may be from these stupid endometrin vaginal suppositories I have to use twice a day (that's my theory anyway.) I hate those things, and I can't wait until I don't have to take them anymore. They are smelly and I have to wear a liner everyday (and that's all the details I will share about that!) But you think I would have had all those symptoms a little earlier than this if all this was attributed to the endometrin. Do you see how my thoughts go round and round?!!

I really hope that I am. And you can believe that I will be testing at home for sure before my HCG Friday!

First IUI today!

I can't believe I am even writing that we had an IUI. It has been so surreal. And so exciting. It has been wonderful to be excited about something for more than a day and not have it crashing down two seconds later.

This morning I woke up with such a peace. I thought I might be nervous and wondering if it was going to work, but I just had peace. I know it was from God. Everything went so smoothly. And it was over before I knew it. It was so nice to have JJ there in the office with me. It is so often that he is not. It was nice that we were still doing this together. We were even able to have some breakfast together which was nice. A calm relaxing peaceful morning. It was wonderful.

Now I have to come up with things to do during the dreaded 2ww. I test the day after Thanksgiving. Come on BFP!

Folliculating!

I have a friend at work who keeps asking if I am "folliculating". It makes me laugh every time she says that. And now I can tell her I am folliculating!

Follie check today revealed I have a 16!!! I cried right there on the table when she said that. She was doing her usual stuff, click click, click click. Then all of the sudden she said, "Oh! Heather you have a 16! Finally!" I said, "Oh praise God! I can't believe it! Thank God!" I am so glad I have something to show for all of this. I really have been in some pain lately, and I was taking that as a good sign. And it was!! I grew like it is supposed to happen, not slow like I have been.

The plan is another dose of Menopur tonight, then trigger tomorrow night and IUI on Thursday! I can't believe this is finally happening! I could be pregnant in a week! I can't wait! Maybe I can ask for some maternity clothes for Christmas! If I get pregnant my due date will be August 31. Not excited to be way pregnant in the summer, but I'll take it - better than nothing! I wanted a summer birthday for my kids anyway.

We had an amazing service on Sunday. God really ministered to me, and I knew that He was doing a work in me, and He was going to make it happen. I had such a confidence going to the office today. I know this is happening because He is in control and He has done the work. I am so grateful to have the Lord in my life. I don't know what I would do without Him! Hallelujah!

Menopur #10, Follie Check

Today was a busy day in the office. The waiting room was pretty full. It was amazing to me that you could feel the tension in the room, the terror of anticipation. What would this appointment bring? We all knew we had issues. I started to size people up, comparing myself to them in some freakishly weird way, thinking "she looks normal and she has a problem. Maybe I am normal too, I just can't ovulate." I found myself wondering what each couple's problem was--low sperm count, annovulation, premature ovarian failure, PCOS, recurrent miscarriage? What heartache in one small room, I thought. Then I thought, what potential for success! Potential for joy and laughter. These people will have a child, just like me. If they want it, no matter how it will happen, it will happen. It was quite exciting.

I needed that excitement going into this ultrasound. I was super nervous they would find 15 follies on each ovary or something, and that would be the end of this cycle and IVF is next. I stripped down and donned my paper skirt thinking (as I always do) how weird it is to have a wand shoved up my hoo-ha every other day--does it really take all this?! Today it hurt too. I don't know why, but it was painful. It's never comfortable, but today it outright hurt. Then she started measuring, which on me takes awhile with all that are available to measure. The verdict is: leading follicles have grown to 12. Growth good, slow growth disappointing. I still have a lot of others, but the leads are getting bigger. But my estrogen dropped from last week, but my LH is climbing, which means I may ovulate on my own prematurely, so they have to monitor closely. So I increase the Menopur tonight, and check again in a few days. Why did the estrogen drop I wonder?

I was so glad that she didn't cancel the cycle. We both want this to work! I think I would take it better if I grew good follies and didn't get pregnant than if I had to move on to IVF. I just want some of my own joy already!

Follie Check

Well, not so sure it is going to work without me creating several eggs. There are at least 4 on each ovary that are growing and the leading ones are only 10. This makes me a good candidate for IVF. I will continue the same dose until Friday's check and I would imagine if they all are still growing like that, it will be cancelled and plans made for IVF.

I saw my doctor again today, and she stopped in and talked to me when I was getting my blood drawn. She asked me how I was doing through all this, which was really nice. She was the first out of that whole office to ask. It was refreshing, especially after last appointment when the RN was showing me pictures of her newborn grandson! UHGG!

She said she was looking at how I stimulated the other cycles and said if I continue to do the same this cycle, we will have to move on to IVF. She said she really doesn't want to, but we also don't want a litter! Agreed wholeheartedly. I am really praying these leading follicles decide to take off on their own, and we won't have to go down that road. Everyone pray!!!

CD 8 Update

I have such hope (again!) for this cycle. We have hit the ovaries hard with a whopper dose of Menopur right from the start, and we are hoping they respond much better this time. Everyone in the office seems to think it is going to work. I am REALLY hoping they are right.

I started having some cramping last night, which made me excited. This is apparently a good sign things are happening in there. I have had even more today, and they are almost painful when they come - also makes me happy! I go in for an ultrasound and labs tomorrow. They wanted me to come in today, but I had to work. I am done worrying about what I am going to do with work and their requirements for me to come in. I am just trusting that it is in God's hands, and I am not worrying about it anymore. It was just a lot to worry about.

I had difficulty telling her I will not be in on Monday, but Tuesday at first, but once I said it, it felt right. She didn't know what to say at first, but then she just said she'll have to tell the MD. (Fine, that's not going to change the fact that I can't come in.) I am sure she has many women who bend over backwards to make the appointments they see fit (which to me is when it is convenient for them). Women wanting to follow things to the tee, of course, is understandable. But I can't keep stressing over whether they want me to come in on my working days, and they need to know that. I put my trust in God, who is in control of this thing anyway.