Changes

I recently found out that my insurance is changing. I temporarily freaked out, because I thought the worst-now I definitely have to change doctors. I have to catch myself and remind myself to think of the possible positives first! So I thought, until you find out information, there is no sense in thinking anything. But it was on my mind all weekend. 

I just sent an appeal letter to my current insurance company regarding payment for my currently RE. I tried to go at it from an emotional as well as a right down to business point-the point that they messed up. I can only hope that it works. It is currently my only hope in the matter.

Today I called to see if my current RE will be "in network" in my new insurance, and they assured me that she is. Great! Now if only I can believe them. This is the problem I ran into last time. I do find it reassuring that so far they say she is, now I have to get my new card and check it against the internet site to see what it says. But the crazy thing is, they can say that, and turn around and say later that she isn't and then you are in a battle. I think that's what they want, is a battle and they hope you get battle weary. Believe me, if it wasn't so much money, I think I would get battle weary. I often think it might be easier to give up sometimes.

Now I have these medications staring at me everyday, waiting to help. I really can't wait to take them and see what happens. It is a hefty dose of Clomid (tried other doses before), then the trigger Ovidrel if needed. I needed to put them away today-shoved the Ovidrel to the back of the fridge and the Clomid in a closet. It seems like a tease right now, especially knowing I have to wait even longer now. Gosh, I think that is the hardest part, the waiting and the not knowing. Not knowing if this is going to work, and if it doesn't, what is the next step? Can I deal with needing to go the next step? Do I want to?