Anxiety-Go Away!

I am trying to figure out how do deal with stress. I keep reading about how IF is considered one of the most stressful things to go through, but I don't want to believe it, or I don't want it to "get" me. If it "gets" me, then I am not strong, and if I'm not strong, it may beat me. That's how I feel-beat up. But I can't figure out how to deal with it. I don't feel particularly overwhelmed all the time, but my body is certainly giving me other signs. The biggest one being that my sleep is just almost worthless lately. I actually physically jerk all night long. I fear that I will have to add another medication to the list (besides the stupid Ambien I already take). I have been trying to avoid that because hopefully I will be pregnant soon, and the less meds, the better (none would be great). I wonder though, if this "sleeping disorder" I have been diagnosed with is part of the anxiety disorder I have been trying to deal with. I know a lot of PCOS-ers deal with that.

I think I may be in some denial about the anxiety I feel, thinking that if I do x,y,z, then it will be better. Or maybe if I switch up the order I do things, or maybe I have to do them all that day at a certain time of the day. Then I wonder is worrying about that going to make me insane?!! Or cause me to have more anxiety? OH MY GOSH!

I have been wondering if the increased problems lately have been from this whole insurance debacle. But lately I have been receiving things hinting towards a good outcome, so you think that I would be less stressed about it. But it has caused us to wait even longer to start with the meds and monitoring. Can waiting make you stressed? I think unfulfilled dreams can. I think knowing you are destined for something and feeling like it's late in coming can. I need an intervention! I need a miracle.