Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Anxiety-Go Away!

I am trying to figure out how do deal with stress. I keep reading about how IF is considered one of the most stressful things to go through, but I don't want to believe it, or I don't want it to "get" me. If it "gets" me, then I am not strong, and if I'm not strong, it may beat me. That's how I feel-beat up. But I can't figure out how to deal with it. I don't feel particularly overwhelmed all the time, but my body is certainly giving me other signs. The biggest one being that my sleep is just almost worthless lately. I actually physically jerk all night long. I fear that I will have to add another medication to the list (besides the stupid Ambien I already take). I have been trying to avoid that because hopefully I will be pregnant soon, and the less meds, the better (none would be great). I wonder though, if this "sleeping disorder" I have been diagnosed with is part of the anxiety disorder I have been trying to deal with. I know a lot of PCOS-ers deal with that.
I think I may be in some denial about the anxiety I feel, thinking that if I do x,y,z, then it will be better. Or maybe if I switch up the order I do things, or maybe I have to do them all that day at a certain time of the day. Then I wonder is worrying about that going to make me insane?!! Or cause me to have more anxiety? OH MY GOSH!
I have been wondering if the increased problems lately have been from this whole insurance debacle. But lately I have been receiving things hinting towards a good outcome, so you think that I would be less stressed about it. But it has caused us to wait even longer to start with the meds and monitoring. Can waiting make you stressed? I think unfulfilled dreams can. I think knowing you are destined for something and feeling like it's late in coming can. I need an intervention! I need a miracle.


  1. Praying that God gives you that miracle soon (((HUGS)))

  2. I hope you get that miracle soon! I also have PCOS and deal with lots of anxiety.

    Just try and take it one breath at a time!

  3. Waiting is the most stressful part for me. I want to be able to *do* something.

  4. You know, I feel like part of my problem on my "bad days" are that we have had to wait what feels like forever to start treatments. Two surgeries, tests, etc...I've known I've been IF for 8 months now, and if it weren't for the surgeries I think we could've started treatments 6 months ago, *sigh* Of course, the surgeries are what will make the treatments possible, but you know what I mean...

    I hope your wait is over SOON!