Waiting

I can't believe it, but I am still trying to recover from this stinkin' surgery. I saw Dr. RE on Thursday, and she was surprised too. As long as things aren't getting worse, then everything is OK she said. But since my uterus doesn't seem to like what happened, I have to wait longer until we start treatment.

Longer. Wait. WHAT?!! I feel like all I have been doing is wait. I am so done with waiting. And to top it off, I may have to switch doctors. I am so upset about this, I just want to vomit. I contacted my insurance asking them why they aren't paying, and they said she isn't "in the network", which is a necessity if they are to pay. I checked, and she was in network, on one of them. They need to be in "both", meaning on my hospital's network also. How I am supposed to know this is the mystery. I know they just don't want to pay. The kicker is, I called them a couple weeks ago about this issue, and they said that she was. And the weird thing is, her colleague in the same large practice in a city a lot farther is in both networks. Go figure. So now I may have to pay a huge amount we weren't prepared to pay, and that included this recent surgery. I am freaking out just a little.

I think I am more upset about being in the middle of treatment and possibly having to switch and wait even longer. Lately it seems as if everything is working against us with this trying to get pregnant thing. It makes me want to throw in the towel sometimes. Maybe that would be easier. It just gets difficult to stay positive all the time. It really takes some effort. Oh God give me the strength to get through this!!